اختلال خلقی

cats are not ruminants they are felines they do not throw up where they eat they do not consume their vomit. for the first time i saw a cat last night eating his puke. and that was for me the most sad explicit sibyllism, ever.

34-35°

there may be a distinctive difference between choking suffocating and drowning. it may be the sound or silence. the reflex gestures. the process. or it may just be the lethal potentiality, and that's that.

צילום פוסט-מורטם

last lost notes and perished gestures of a swan song
somatic reactions of quintessence

captured before falling


to die without a swan song
to die without a swan song
quel dommage
what a waste




#57

στο τέλος των διαψεύσεων dernier fin nouveau. έχω επτά φίλες μοναδικές ξεχωριστές απαράμιλλες όμορφες κι ένα τεράστιο μικρό κορίτσι που θα μας σώσει θα μας σαρώσει. only thing left before i die is to let my self go mad. what a treat that would be. και θα πεθάνω σε νούμερο που μου αρέσει, όχι ακόμα, σε αυτό.
parallel universe in quest(ion)

115

i thought the end of words would be relieving. i thought the end of words would be nihilism's dew. but it doesn't make it any lighter. tonight it rather saddens me really. there are these noises that i hear outside, every now and then. like thunderclaps or debris being moved. it should be bombs, you know. no voices no alarms no fireworks no footsteps no bloody motorpipes. bombs. it rains so much this winter. it's absurd. the human condition is impaired and inadequate. though insomnia in its familiarity is my time of utmost lucidity, now days it is only in hypnagogia when precise eloquence flashes before my eyes. or when i do the dishes, sometimes.

drugs


bring neither the best nor the worst out of me. they just allocate my limbo.